What ..?

Today  27 Jan 2014 is my birthday , today I have lost one more year of my life ,and gained one more year of my life ,usually on my birthday  colleagues at my office contribute and bring a cake  , my Seth a young man , treats me with respect  and I have no other responsibilities except what ever I think  would fancy me on that day , so  on days  I act as  chowkidar , sit on his stool all day , on other day I simply occupy  the manager chair  , and because of  my Seth , they  complain but only to themselves  as I intrude on their  Job responsibilities , but the Seth respects me so much , so they cannot do anything about it , except bear me , ………and now after years , I am just an eccentric  entity  somewhat colorful , but at time dangerous  for  I do not want to brag , but I have gone god damn honest  , I do not take any wages , except daily wages  and only for the work I do  , so If I work 2 hrs I ask  for 2 hrs of wages , and if  8 the 8 hrs of wages  ,Seth has many time tried to  fix something Monthly , but I have strongly refused .

 I live a self imposed isolated existence  , have leaved all and every one  , after an accident which was the closest  a man can get with death , infact  I believe I had tasted death , as during that experience I saw my dead body with my own eyes , while hovering  over , went through the proverbial   “ tunnel “  spoke in some strange language with some unknown being  and returned , and the next three months in the most tiring and trying circumstances  .

Now I live an Old lady ,Amma Bi , who has graciously  allowed me One room in her house , where all I have is a  12inch Fat Mattress , its good quality , for  even years of use , sometime  I  laid on it for days…there isn’t a single dent  in it  , its still as smooth as new  , two three pillow , around 6-8 dresses , one pair of shoes , one Chappal ,  another pair of kind open shoe , two towels , one Chair , a half table , a few books  , one Rug filling all the room …..and I call this room my   “ khooli “ … usually I go out around 12 am including Sundays …and return around 12  Pm , have breakfast as a  local Pathan Hotel  , and in the evening something as dinner , from  Kathiwari  chooleys , to Biryani , to Bun Kabab , to burger , to Chinese Rice , to Soups , to Bheel Puri , to Zinger , to Fish , to any thing that fancies me that day and is within my budget of that days  wages , it’s a simple life , no complication , just bidding my time .

That one incident changed my life , from a pretty gregarious  merry happy go lucky and Friend of every one kind , I shut myself down in my own  cocoon of existence  , an Isolated  far away from every one , even my Family , my father , my mother , my wife , my children every one ,the reason is simple I feel betrayed , because in  the most tiring circumstance , while after the accident , I lost every thing , my Business ,  money , and worst the  trust in every one  , and now I live all alone 

I do not want to make any friends, though other try , but are stonewalled from my side , for I do not want myself to have any expectations from any one  , often people are perplexed and now they have declared me eccentric  , kinda mad , but that’s the way things are now …

I tried to get involved my myself only , and that is pretty selfish of me , but it’s a well considered , for some maybe wrong  thing  , but for me its what it is  now , I know , when I will die , no one except may be  Eidhi or some other similar organization will bury me , or maybe my family , for I have from then held no expectations from any one  , and if any one tries to  “ instill sense “ in me to return to normal life , he get the shock of his life , when I put him on the ignore list and ultimately  his sympathy wave dies out  and he leaves me alone .

Just out of boredom , I to preoccupy myself ,  without any commitment tried a hand at blogging , my blogs was in Roman  Urdu , at one time it was pretty popular ,then I discovered my Punjabi Roots , and started seeing things in a new perspective , then it dawned on me , that the people around me , the Karachi people , the  Urdu speaking people are the most racist and bigoted one , spare one or two  , it led me to do a bit of research on my  Punjabi origin and I discovered that we Punjabis are trapped in a deception , but that’s another story , since that day , I stopped writing blog in Roman  Urdu ….and now its after Ages I have written anything for my blog 

So this is something I have written after a very  very  long time …. And its not for any one , its just for myself…